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Posts: 908
Oct 26 10 12:57 PM
Yeah, I am hurt and feeling rejected. But I equate it to a person not getting a job he wanted even though he had a great interview. Feeling rejected is normal; it is how deep we allow rejection to affect us that determines whether or not the person is insecure/needy. I'll be OK as we only had two dates; I wasn't falling in love/lust with her.In my job and as a natural part of me when I see a problem I figure it out and find a solution. In this situation I have been going back and forth between wondering what I did wrong, and what is her problem. Since she wrote in a text that it wasn't me and that she was just stressing before a big meeting I have no reason to think it is me thus my feelings shouldn't be hurt, but at the same time I cannot understand why anyone wouldn't return a person's call/message after this much time. To me that is rude and a put-down and totally unlike her so maybe she doesn't want to say something negative about me and is simply avoiding the situation, which then takes me back to wondering what I did wrong..... which I guess shows I am insecure.As for me sending messages repeatedly and how that makes me look insecure, I guess I'm old-fashioned; if you like someone you should be able to tell them and if you want to develop a relationship you tell the person you want to spend more time together. I know; one message should be all it takes. I told her I enjoyed our time together; I didn't ask her to marry me. And in none of my messages have I confronted her with her failure to reply; I have stressed that I hope things have gotten better in her world and that I'd like to hear about those things, and that I hope to hear from her and hope we can enjoy more time together.Regardless of my insecurities, I see her as a great person (aside from this rudeness). For that reason I feel sad. Sure, there are plenty of other women out there but she has a heck of a lot going for her and we have a unique connection having been band geeks together so many years ago. And she is very attractive and honestly I haven't always drawn the great looking women my way.I hadn't thought of the sin part. I understand what you're saying Doc (I am Catholic) and I know God created me the way he wanted. I also know God gave us free will to not only choose our own path but sometimes mess up what he created. And he gave us emotions such as desire so we keep the species going. So my desire to be loved is not something that necessarily means I am insecure. Your point though is it is wrong to put too much importance on the approval of others and question God's work. And for that I thank you for making your point and I will continue to keep that in mind as I evaluate whether I am insecure of simply normal.And I have been feeling very positive for the most part as Dave notes. If I hadn't felt good about myself I'd still be married. But two relationships I had prior to this one knocked me down quite a bit. Those are other stories not to be part of this Weight Loss topic. I had two deep (one for 1 month, the other for 3 months) relationships plus dates with four other ladies (including Holly) since June so I guess I'm doing pretty well. As for me getting out there so soon, keep in mind my marriage ended 6 or 7 years ago; it just took me a long time to get strong enough to file the paperwork.
In my entire life I never tried to see how high I could play. - Maynard Ferguson
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